From a Survivor's Journal - Day 1

[ColdAtrophy 1850]

As I write this down, I'm still shaking from the adrenaline that coursed through my body. I came to this land, cold and hungry, looking for a way to survive. I never considered what my survival might cost me, what it might cost others.

 

I began my journey on the coast, just south of Rify. I scavenged for what little I could find at a large ship, beached and broken. What scraps were there offered little protection from the cold and the gnawing hunger in the pit of my stomach. As I was ready to leave, I heard voices. Fearing for my safety, I hid like a coward until the danger had passed.

 

Cautiously, I made my way up to Black Lake, making contact with the only person I knew in this strange, infested God forsaken land. Let's call him "Dee". He found me, fed me, and helped me put some clothes on my back. In times like these, he stands out as a saint among men. It makes me feel a little helpless and less of a man to lean on another survivor so heavily. I make a promise to myself that if I get the chance I will repay his kindness. He acts like it's no big deal, but it is and deep down we both know it. The friendships forged in Chernarus are not the petty things of the old world. They are unbreakable bonds that cannot help but form when you put your life in the hands of another, and he does the same. That's when it gets simple. That's also when shit can get insanely complicated fast.

 

Covering one another, house after house, we grabbed what we needed, leaving the rest for whoever else may need them. Before this is all said and done, there will be others. Many, many others. We eventually came to an isolated, but important location. Upon realizing where we were, what we were doing, I experienced a rush of mixed emotions. 

 

I turned to Dee and asked, "You sure this is gonna be ok?"

 

"We still need to be careful, but not many people know about this place. We got this man. Eyes open, move nice and slow. Don't run. Look for signs that someone is or was recently here, and we'll cover each other. We'll get inside, grab what we can use, and get the fuck out," Dee said. He sounded calm and collected. I wish I had his experience. I had begun to realize that not many of us really knew how easy all aspects of life had become before it all came crashing down around our ears.

 

"Ok then. I guess we'll be alright," I said, not sounding very convinced, and truthfully, I wasn't. Not at all.

 

I've seen the aftermath and heard about the carnage people have inflicted upon each other at places like these. Maybe it was off the beaten path, but that didn't make me feel any better about what we could be walking into. Still, I needed gear. Dee had been doing things just like this for months, maybe years. Perhaps being here with him was going to make all the difference for whether we lived or died.

 

I didn't mention any of what was going on in my head. It didn't matter. We both knew that we were really just here for me and that whatever happened here today would be my fault. 

 

We moved up and I followed his lead carefully, methodically, just like we had talked about. One building down - one to go. I secured a few pieces. Getting better things is a double-edged sword here which is a thought that only occurred to me after I had finally gotten some of what I needed. I may as well have painted a big target on my back, wearing some of the things I found, but when things get rough I'm sure I will be glad to have them. Plus, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. My outfit did help me blend into the foliage that surrounded us.

 

We moved through the next building just as easily. Although we'd only been journeying together for a short time, we had already begun to develop a nice rhythm to our movements. When to move forward, who's covering who. We just might make it, I thought. Leaving the place just as we found it, Dee disappeared into the brush, making his way back up the way we came, to the relative safety of the forest. The man was a chameleon. I had already lost sight of him completely. I carefully made my way up to a half wall on one side of the building when I heard some rustling. Probably just Dee. When you travel with someone else, no matter how on edge you are, you start to tune out the little noises they make, brush them off. There may be safety in numbers but there is also danger in complacency.

 

That's when I saw a figure in the bushes in front of me. I didn't see exactly where Dee went so I assumed it was him. I walked up within 3 feet of him and what I saw made me stop dead in my tracks. Dee was most certainly not wearing the clothes that I saw on the individual in front of me. FUCK.

 

"Dee! Where are you?" I asked as quietly as I could, sub vocalizing into my throat mike, panic-stricken, primal fear kicking through my veins like a wild bull. It was all I could do to not simply lose my shit on the spot. 

 

"I'm back up the hill where we came down from", he quickly returned, clearly noting in my speech that something was very clearly, most certainly wrong. "Where are you?"

 

I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I couldn't say what I needed to say to warn my partner, the man who quite literally gave me the clothes off his back to keep me from freezing to death in the middle of nowhere. In that moment, I realized that I had failed. I completely and utterly failed the only person who had never failed me. I was certain that I had just unwittingly walked right into the jaws of death and not only wasted the supplies he donated to me, but his time and perhaps even his life.

 

Yet, the guy didn't even notice I was there. How? I will never know. All I knew is that this unknown variable with a rifle, presumably loaded, moved from his hiding place and bolted off in the direction of my partner. Time stopped for just a moment, and yet, I still could not think. Every neuron in my brain, every fiber of my muscles, every blood cell in my veins all agreed in perfect unison that there was only one course of action and that I could take my calm, friendly, logical disposition and shove it right up my own ass. There was only one universal, perfect truth in that moment.

 

Kill or be killed. 

 

If I did not act, the man I owed my very life to would die. 

 

I did not think. I did not plan. I was barely even really prepared. I simply fired until I heard the empty, hollow click. Click. Click. 

 

The smoke cleared and time resumed. We gave the guy a once over and decided that most of what he had was destroyed. I was fine with that. I could hardly even look at the body. We hid it in some bushes and tried not to make it look obvious that someone was just here but I had just dumped 10 rounds into a guy that was likely dead in 2 or 3 shots and the clock was ticking on the curious opportunists who might come to investigate.

 

We got out of there, traveling for quite some time and eventually we made camp. As I write this Dee is asleep by the campfire. I don't know how he can sleep. I feel sick. I swore I wouldn't become this. Just because there is no longer law, that does not give us the authority to kill a man who just happened to be around. I look back upon the me that hoofed it across the beach, hiding in what could have been my coffin simply because I heard some voices. I'm not sure what upsets me more: the fact that I just killed a man or the fact that I was that fucking stupid a mere few hours earlier. How could I be untouched by my new environment? How could I not adapt to the circumstances that I find myself in? Of course I was going to have to change. If I did not, I would fall off this precipice that humanity now finds itself precariously perched upon. 

 

Despite the fact that I could barely stand the thought of being a murderer, I look over at Dee and I realize that if I had not done what was necessary, there is a very good chance that neither of us would be here right now. As I settle in for a long cold night, keeping my shift on watch, torturing myself with my thoughts, I find some comfort in the knowledge that we will have a tomorrow and that some day, the harsh lessons forced upon me will have been for the better. Who knows what will happen next?

Edited May 3, 2015 by ColdAtrophy

[nuggit 246]

Excellent read dude, have some more  :beans:

[ColdAtrophy 1850]

Excellent read dude, have some more  :beans:

 

Thank you. :)

 

I like to write and this game evoked such strong and genuine emotions and fear responses that I simply could not help but to write about it. I can't say that I've ever played a game quite like this one.

[dayy 173]

Wish more people did stuff like this man, keep it up!

 

Beanzzzz

[Kaffarov37 125]

Good read. I like reading these kind of things

[pilgrim* 3513]

liked the <click click>

 

ok you can stop shooting him now - he's dead

 

beanz

[krazypenguin 174]

Wish more people did stuff like this man, keep it up!

 

Beanzzzz

 

Go take a look at the How was your Day(z) thread...

[ColdAtrophy 1850]

liked the <click click>

 

ok you can stop shooting him now - he's dead

 

beanz

 

Thank you. It was fun to write. It was based on first all day experience playing with a new friend with artistic liberties taken of course. :)

[pilgrim* 3513]

Thank you. It was fun to write. It was based on first all day experience playing with a new friend with artistic liberties taken of course. :)

 

Dont worry - a month from now you'll be happy, dry, well fed, well equipped, squatting alone in a derelict building in front of a fire, talking to yourself, gnawing the bones of a friend, and wondering how to meet some new people.

 

xx

Edited March 19, 2015 by pilgrim

[ColdAtrophy 1850]

Dont worry - a month from now you'll be happy, dry, well fed, well equipped, squatting alone in a derelict building in front of a fire, talking to yourself, gnawing the bones of a friend, and wondering how to meet some new people.

 

xx

 

Written words have failed me. I can't stop laughing.